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Bereavement and Shiva

Bereavement Support & Practical Guide

For families and next of kin when there is a death

Our Commitment

When a loved one dies, the days that follow can feel overwhelming. Judaism offers a structure — rooted in compassion, dignity, and respect — to help guide mourners through this time. Our rabbi and community are here to support you every step of the way.

First Steps When Someone Dies

If the death is expected (e.g. in hospital, hospice, or at home under medical care):

  1. Notify the doctor or nursing staff. They will issue the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.
  2. Contact the United Synagogue Burial Office immediately:
     📞 020 8950 7767 (24 hours) or email: office@usburial.org.uk
     They will guide you on halachic requirements and make arrangements for the funeral.

If the death is sudden or unexpected:

  • Call emergency services (999).
  • The police and coroner may be involved before the burial can take place.
  • Still contact the United Synagogue Burial Office as soon as possible — they may be able to liaise with officials on your behalf.

Please understand that the Burial office is closed for shabbat, Jewish festivals and at night. However, they respond to messages as quickly as possible.
 Most borough registrars will have emergency protocols for quick burials, as required by Jewish law, to get the necessary paperwork on the weekend or bank holiday. Keep in mind it will usually be the registrar where the deceased died rather than the place where next of kin live.

Jewish Practices to Know

  • Kavod HaMet – honouring the deceased is our highest priority. We avoid unnecessary delay in burial and treat the body with the utmost respect.
  • Timing – funerals are arranged as soon as possible, often within 24–48 hours.
  • Tahara – ritual washing and preparation of the body by the Chevra Kadisha (burial society).
  • Shmirah – ideally, the body is accompanied until burial.
  • Cremation – traditional Jewish practice forbids cremation; United Synagogue funerals are burial-only.

Burial Arrangements

The United Synagogue Burial Office will:

  • Arrange transport of the deceased to the burial facility.
  • Coordinate with the rabbi for the funeral service.
  • Provide guidance on selecting a burial plot (if not already pre-purchased).
  • Issue paperwork and liaise with authorities.

You will need:

  • The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.

The Funeral Service

  • The rabbi will meet with the family to prepare the eulogy and discuss the order of service.
  • Flowers are not part of Jewish burial tradition; charity donations in memory are encouraged rather than flowers.

After the Funeral – Shiva

Shiva is the Hebrew word for the number seven and it is the seven-day mourning period observed in the home.
 Our synagogue can help with:

  • Arranging prayer services in the shiva house.
  • Prayer books and chairs for mourners.

If you cannot observe a full shiva (e.g. for health or practical reasons), speak with the rabbi — adjustments can be made while keeping within halachic practice.

Ongoing Support

  • Kaddish – recited daily for 11 months for a parent, 30 days for other close relatives. We can help you attend services or arrange someone to say Kaddish on your behalf.
  • Yahrzeit – the annual anniversary of the death. The synagogue will remind you each year.
  • Pastoral support – the Rabbinic team is available for emotional, spiritual, and practical guidance.

Key Contacts

United Synagogue Burial Office – 📞 020 8950 7767
 
Muswell Hill Synagogue Office – 📞 020 8883 5925 (The office will connect you with our shul rabbi).

Judaism teaches that every person is created b’tzelem Elohim — in the image of God — and deserves honour in life and dignity in death. In this most difficult time, your synagogue family stands with you.

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